SHEN: we're gonna make a simple ham and cheese sandwich. so, mayonnaise.
SHEN: shredded cheese.
SHEN: olives.
SHEN: ham.
SHEN: simple. i like to cut mine. congrats. to me. you didn't do shit.
SHEN: that segment was kinda dumb, but i had fun. you know what i like? onions. that woulda been nice. anyway, i normally don't eat shit like that. hell, i don't really eat bread. i eat noodles, though i make them from the box. i've stopped eating bread. i'm more for tortillas now. recently, i've become rice pilled. white rice tho, i'm not some beacon of health.
SHEN: there used to be this trend on the web i was supposed to grow up on called "a day in my life". not to be confused with draw my life. but it's a vlog, like i do, that just well... you're not fucking stupid or just don't know english, right? i guess these are still around with them being short videos, but half of the time the people making them look depressed. now i'm depressed because i'm gonna let myself go on a side tangent.
SHEN: i'm gonna film this right here to denote the difference in topic. i'm a genius, yes. anyway. it'll be like those ‘a day in my life.’ videos. for future people they go like this: “i wake up at 6:30 in the morning, eat some oatmeal. my husband goes to work. i contemplate if we're compatible. our sun signs are, but out dick and pussy size isn't. has god smited me? is this past life karma? around ten i go for a walk, i saw dog. then i go home, shower, and do some chores alone. after that i made some cute knitting stuff while reading through emails. then i made dinner. my husband came home and we ate and i got some more work done. now i go to bed." the reason why these are so boring isn't because women. oh no, another side tangent incoming. but it's because most people's lives are boring. if i was to show you a whole day in my life it was: have shitty dream, wake up, take a piss i think, go back to bed, wake up from another stupid dream, watch videos, write, scroll on social media, decide to work on this vlog. it's only noon, and i got a late start, but like, BORING. especially if the narration is depressed. if you're life is sad, people are gonna feel sad. maybe some of us don't have to worry about the compatibility of ourselves and our partners organs, but like we all cook to some degree. we clean at some point. when people used to do these things it's "look at me i'm rich and my life is better than yours!!" even the nicest ones, that's why they were showing off their life!!! they "made it". i know some are gonna ask "shen, are you an ARG. you can-" fuck you, normie. i ain't telling you shit. speculate."
SHEN: filming this just in case i cut the first side tangent. tho based, i'm worried that it'll be too agney for the rest of this specific vlog. i did mention maybe making a compilation of unused vlogs at some point. for the real ones. i keep everything, cause you never know when you're going to need something, or want to use a thingy. this is especially true with writing. heck, maybe that vlog might not get used in this video but will in the next one. it's like a rabbit hole, layers deep. i may use it in this one and this part as well. creating art is beautiful for that. i've had a lot of coffee today. like the double shot of expresso. i normally say shot -a but if you put the a with that the sub thinks i'm saying something else oops. trying to avoid making it sound like i put liquefied anime boys in my coffee.
SHEN: fuck, I don't remember what the original "day in my life" segment was supposed to be about. actually, i think the tangent i went on was it. oh well, i had to go take care of something in between segments and decided to cook, so we're gonna do that now. this vlog is just random shit, but more than normal. but before we do that, or i lose enthusiasm to do so, place your bets with your friends. why do i make these? what constitutes as random? doesn't it all? i'd say the first vlog, where i go to the store is close to "a day in my life". the goal was "i'm going to take the audience on a journey to the mini store, i'm going to make mac n' cheese and whatever else happens, does." the second one was more like this one from my memory. i don't remember too much of it. i remember showing my plushies and talking about fucking your mom. i think that one was probably maybe more cohesive as i wasn’t hyped up on caffeine and talking about so much random shit i'm forgetting about what i originally was going to say. usually, i don't know the meat of what the vlog is. like, me talking about feminism or day in my life. at least i try to have a concept. mac n cheese, my brother's birthday party. i work from that. vlogs like this are harder, because it's like i want to do things, idk what. so, i make all these littler things and see what sticks and doesn't until something happens. at some point i’ll make a whole vlog and be like "this lame, i'm moving onto something else." these are supposed to be fun for me. i'm not gonna tell you every reason why i'm here doing this. i really need to rewatch vlog 2 apparently.
SHEN: so, what most of this vlog comes from unused clips in vlog 4. Honestly, that one was running a bit long even in the final cut, but ovs it was longer. i think i explained a bit in the last one, but i mighta cut that, so just to keep everyone on track, that a lot of these segments were not fitting the vibe. which, ya know if ya watched, ended up being about creating outsider art in a way. these clips contribute, it's their attitude that didn't make the cut. i might get people mad at me for some of the stuff i say and well, it better be interesting to warrant some angry anon shouting to get my attention. i'm not like that pussy cumin'inhighdef. i won't argue. i say my piece and go. they're way nicer than me. they've told me in the past they weren't. how fuckin' old are you? whatever, this part means nothing but to a small group of people.
SHEN: i debated on just putting a small version of this explanation with on screen text, but decided i didn't want two vlogs in a row where i didn't smoke. and look at my oversized jacket. yes baby pink and baby blue are my favorite colors. i like black and red too. i'm like two different people sometimes. or at least it feels like that. but just like caring about internet randos why should i explain myself besides unless i feel like it? especially with something i don't really care to understand enough to explain. it's easier just to talk with the mob. legally, we are not a mob. don't delete my shit. cumin' gets it. more like coo mid, because they coo like a mid baby. zing!!!!!
SHEN: anyway, footage from this thing isn't just from that vlog, i decided to add some livestream stuff and this part, which coulda been a vlog in itself. do you think it'd be cool if they added a version of this cig that has like black smoke too or something? pink and blue, even better. since apparently i'm answering some questions here, these red ones taste the best. nothing deep. figured i explained that, but taste is so subjective. and yes, i'm real. i'm not ai. i'm not your waifu, i'm a real person. we all just look like anime people in most universes. i avoid uploading in places where humans look more "3d" or something for this very reason. i've seen some shit. there are universes where animated people like me are just cartoon characters. where pink hair isn't natural. but many of you are not ready for that.
SHEN: i don't use the term feminist because egalitarian is way more fun to say. but i am one. these sad women opening up about the problems in their lives online, not to their fault, bring misogynists screaming "oh look at the modern women, they're miserable." which is so funny because all of those little boys can't even cook an egg on the stove lol. now my arguments are, do see us all doing that? no. don't lump me in with those chicks. i come on here and happily make mac and cheese. i know how to work my shit properly, better than you. i also was gonna joke about hets, but you know, maybe her bfs rules, idk. but also it's one gal, maybe she just needs a xanax. but you don't care about other people, even yourself. you care about having servants to hide your inferiority complex. i bet your head is about as fucked as hers, you aren't brave enough to be honest about it cause you're beta cucks in need of a daddy. frankly, everyone in this society is miserable, because you're being stretched thin by rich people using you as cattle to get more personal financial wealth. but you're not ready for the conversation and i peaced the fuck out so why should i help any of you except my dad and bro? by the way, if the genders were reversed, same shit. i gotta little saying: if you're sexist towards one gender, you're sexists towards every other for the same reason. stereotyping people for "good things" is still stereotyping.
SHEN: i'm also someone who thinks a lot of modern internet "contenties" are doing a nine to five on the most stupid difficulty level possible. people should be making stuff first, with money second, but that's also not always realistic. time and energy, and sometimes you need cash to go make certain things. butcha can always appreciate some guy doing the best with what little they have. i think those are the real artists. it's the love i feel from their work.
SHEN: trying to figure out i guess how to tie all of this together. or at least an ending i'm satisfied with. because like, i don't think this one should go on for much longer, but like we're floating. that's fine in a way. sometimes you just need to create a thing. it doesn’t work out in the filming or editing the way you'd hope, but it exists. of course this is such a small thing compared to a big movie. i've thought about making longer vlogs, and maybe someday. for now i like just booping a thing on here. Kind of like the old days.
SHEN: A term I'm starting to hear thrown around too much in relation to works is mean spirited. People will just say "this work is mean spirited" and never explain. Makes it worse when you know the work, and that's really not the case, even if certain stuff in it didn't land. "Mean spirited" mostly seems to be used faux interchangeably w/ negative. Mean spirited basically means showcasing a feeling or desire to induce pain or harm. unless you have proof that was the intention of the work, you're making an accusation, not a critique or analysis.
SHEN: There's a certain type of person who can't outright deal w/ darker topics or characters being complete pieces of shit for whatever reason. Or and that the vibe of the work isn't sweet. There's a difference between works being dark and works that express bitter, ugly emotions. They can't handle the latter. Which is completely fine, I don't even care for many works like that myself. Instead of understanding it's them that's the issue, they imprint their moral code onto a work that wasn’t written in this narrow mindset.
SHEN: I'm not talking about poor writing choices, or even specific things handled in a work. There is a time where mean spirited is a fine way to describe something. When it's earned. Just cause it's dark or edgy doesn't mean it's trying to cause pain. And frankly depending on the piece, being mean spirited isn't necessarily a bad thing to have in art. It's not outright a no-no or a problem to have. I'd say depends on how the creator works it, but that's the same thing with any type of work. Being "mean spirited" is not a buzzword to say and move on. If you say something is mean spirited, explaining why is necessary.
SHEN: Something I've wondered if people are gravitating towards this because the word "mean" is juvenile sounding. Thus, "mean spirited" sounds less harsh than it actually is. If you think someone is cruel or causing pain generally most ppl ain't going to call them mean. That sounds like toddler shit. "this is mean >:("
SHEN: I think the mean spirited thing is a small symptom of not being able to distinguish art existing and art they want. If something doesn't work out, instead of coming to a piece for what it is (if they like it or not.) they come to it and say "what can you do for me?" "why didn't you do this for me?" and that's not healthy when the work never wanted to be your happy fun time. Once again, this isn't even about writing quality.
SHEN: It's a symptom of the modern "we gotta have morals in media" shit. Now, full disclosure, I'm the biggest bitch when it comes to this shit ever. On one hand we have "comedians" and the like who think they're some free speech culture warrior because they're saying edgy sounding shit and making cheap jokes about minorities. Your comedy just sucks, make better shit or admit your mid and not some knight of the people's voices. God damn, none of you are George Carlin. On the other finger, you have people who pretend they're joking to lessen the blow when they are just dog whistling bad shit. So, I can't even blame people on the other hand who get mad or freaked out by edgier stuff because a bunch of piss babies have ruined the reputation of the beautiful medium of legitimate dark humor. Now, I wasn't really talking about dark humor, but I'm mentioning this, because it helps with the mindset that's lead us to this.
SHEN: It's made everything either some conspiracy or it has to be representative of something and showing people in a good light or whatever. That second one is fine, if that's what the creator wants to make, but not everyone is that. Past the fake comedians and their ilk, fuck them artisticless swine puritans making art a PR stunt. If someone is sincere, then their art is too. I'd much rather have some edgy person express some real feelings in something I'm never gonna touch then them trying to be something they're not so a bunch of well-meaning but annoying adults don't get in a fluffle about it.
SHEN: The livestream cuts from there cuz it suddenly ended for some reason, sorry. i remember getting another one up pretty quick that continued this but it got yeeted for copyright cuz my ringtone played for one second. That's not even a joke. Anyway, i stopped ranting, but me, cumin' and a few people talked about it more. i don't remember much else, so whatever. i could talk about stuff like this for hours, and maybe will someday. Though in a more vlogy approach. Anyway, thought it was something to think about and now you have an intro into my thinking or something. my main point is that artists need to express themselves, and edgier art has a purpose, even if it's not for you. The exception being shit babies who just want to shock and make their dick feel big or are actually using their "creation" i refuse to call it art or them human beings, to further narratives that actually hurt and kill groups of people. i gotta put that in or else they feel emboldened to be bigots. i've seen it happen. so fuck you, my words don’t apply to your perversion.